9 Environments

The Dirty On Opinions

After putting out my last post I realized now would be a good time to go over how I manage opinions.

I am very much of the belief that yes, I have opinions, thoughts and ideas, however, I am not so blind as to reject new data and be willing after considering that data to accept a different point of view.

I despise mindless debating, just for the sake of debate.

If you want to have a real conversation about something, and at the end be completely okay with both of us still believing the way we do, then okay, let's chat. If you're bashing someone simply for the fact that you have to be “right”, what is the point? I'm curious to know how many people have taken that approach and actually changed anyone's mind? Ever?

If you disagree with someone, that's completely okay. Believe it or not, it does not invalidate your own opinion. Two people can and do believe in different things and the world will keep spinning.

If your beliefs are so foundational to who you are that the mere inkling of the thought that you might have it wrong, scares you so much you are yelling and protesting and bashing people left and right…

You might want to have that looked at. Just sayin'

I don't believe we all have to have the exact same ideas, beliefs, and stances. It is our diversity that makes our world so amazing. I believe in accepting people where they are, fully understanding that their personal experience led them to that belief. I am actually at a much more accepting and understanding place now than at any time in my history.

Do I get riled about certain things? Sure.

Will my world end, if after a conversation, I didn't change someone's opinion to perfectly match my own? No.

Can I still breathe in a world where people believe that there should absolutely be pumpkin spice everything? Well, um.. still yes.

Can I wish it was dialed back? Sure. Does it affect my day, if I don't focus on it? Not one bit.

I despise labels and one of the biggest problems I see right now is the willingness to lump everyone under these labels, then to make blind assumptions that every single person that has that “label” has the exact same beliefs.

I much prefer to get to know someone, THEN have an idea of who they are and what they believe. I try really hard to make my own opinions of people and not to lump someone into whatever camp just because they posted a certain meme.

It really shuts down communication and I am at a point that I live in curiosity more than any other place.

I truly want to get to know someone and what their life is like. Not just, “Oh, you're a ‘x' label? Next!” No thanks.

I love people too much for that.

So why all this groundwork about what I believe about opinions?

Well, because as I said in my last post, I'm going to be letting my true self shine much more. This means I will be letting my own opinions, ‘off leash' so to speak.

To set some clear expectations I want people to know that, just because I believe this way, doesn't mean that I really and truly feel that I'm ever going to convince anyone to my way. Nor do I feel compelled to. It's rather freeing, to be honest.

I appreciate a good open-minded conversation.  Where both parties are more about understanding than convincing. It makes for a much better dialogue and potential learning experience.

As I've said before, I absolutely despise mindless debate. So if you've come to the site/page/social media to troll.

You will be blocked.

Your comment will be deleted.

Do not pass go.

Do not collect $200.

No, I will not be blindly deleting any opinions that vary from my own. I just won't endure hatred and division, just for the sake of your entertainment, boredom, or lack of anything better to do.

However, I will absolutely engage in mindful, heartfelt conversations. I appreciate those very much. I am very mindful of my own cognitive dissonance and work hard to not allow it to keep me ignorant about a topic.

My goal is to spread more love and understanding. I will not stand idly by and give hate a place to breathe here.

Going forward, let's all have a good time, learn a lot and keep it positive.

After all, what you look for… you will find.

100% of the time.

9 Environments

Fair Warning

I've been sitting back and holding in my opinions and ideas so long I sometimes wonder if I even truly exist anymore.

I admit, much of that was of my own seclusion. I know now, that I did it from a place of pain, a place of hurt and misunderstanding. Trying desperately to protect myself from further harm, I just flat out quit putting “me” out there and began to put on masks and bandages to cover and heal all those wounds.

What exactly am I so afraid of?

Offending someone? HA! I need not be concerned there. If they are the type to get offended, then it won't just be me, it will be anyone and everyone who says or does something that sets off whatever their ‘trigger' is.

Being rejected? I'm alone now, and yet, for the most part, pretty happy. They really couldn't take that away from me, unless I allow it. Okay…next.

Alienating people? This is the one I find has been the biggest hurdle. I do have a heart that deeply does not want to hurt others and I think many times I fear that by sharing my opinion, others will fear that now I will not accept them and theirs. Thus causing pain. However, here's the kicker… This would mean that they don't know the real me.

And there we are. Whose fault is that? 

Nobody else to blame but myself for that one. I can't expect others to know me if I'm never putting me out there.

So here's the deal. I'm going to be throwing off the bowlines, following my heart, heading straight into the storm and allowing all of the years of masks and wrappings to fall away.

**Whoa! I totally pulled a Moana right there.

Disney Moana

I don't know exactly who I'm going to find under all of that mess but I know she's in there. Screaming. Pining to one day be allowed to speak again. To b r e a t h e again.

I don't know if it's because I'm 40 now?

Because I'm so aware of my kids that are watching me now?

Because I'm just so absolutely sick of it all?

I don't even care the reason anymore.

I just want OUT. I want to be FREE again.

So this is my Fair Warning. I am going to be unleashing my inner warrior princess. My past is going to be cut away, the woman I've been becoming, breaking free of the cocoon shroud I built around myself in the process.

If it makes you uncomfortable, I'm giving you permission. It's okay to step away. If I can't be me and be accepted as I truly am, then I probably need someone else in my life anyway. Feel free to move on and make room for those who ‘get it'. They won't judge so harshly and they might even be some of the first to step up and say, “You go girl!!”

Or better yet, stick around and watch the transformation. I'm sure it's going to be quite the show. I'm sure it will have heartbreak, joy, tragedy, and tons of happiness. Blasted with an absolute TON of humor, because we know, at any party, I always bring the funny. Along with some other tasty such and such.